I was recently reminded of this powerful perspective offered by Theodore Roosevelt:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Frankly, when I was reminded of this passage from a speech, I felt my body tingle with connection to the underlying message that runs through these words – dare greatly. Yet, I wonder whether we have truly considered how this perspective applies to leadership (and the ways that we often fail to lead in alignment with it today).
How many of us claim to be leaders, yet our standard operating mode is being critical (under the guise of offering help), looking for and highlighting when others stumble (believing that we are being supportive), and telling people what they could do better (without consistently or at least sometimes letting people know what they do right)? I was recently talking to a sales manager who shared that his general manager claims to want to support him but never has a good thing to say and seems to relish telling the sales manager how he is falling short. The general manager regularly talks about the need to build up your team’s emotional bank account, yet he only makes withdrawals – leaving the sales manager with a seriously negative account balance.
Similarly, when was the last time you recognized and honored (I love this word and approach) someone on your team who made a great effort, fought a good fight or made a difficult decision (even if the result was not what everyone had hoped)? Do you honor those on your team who are in the arena, making the effort and working hard to do the right thing? Too often as leaders (even when well-intended), we get caught up in focusing on what’s not working, and the only attention that our team members get is criticism and reminders of what they did wrong. Frankly, no one is so bad that they never do anything right. If you have people on your team that never do anything right, then the blame is yours for allowing them to remain on the team. Great leaders find the good in their team members and build them up, rather than cutting them down. Constructive and supportive feedback is VERY different from cutting people down, and great leaders know the difference.
I have no doubt that the best way to build teams is by building up team members. Certainly, we all know the right words, but are we actually building up our team members? Are we helping our team members grow and develop, or are we solely telling them what they do wrong? Are we supporting our team members toward being their best, or are we cutting them down without ever giving them a chance?
Most managers and leaders claim to be building, helping and supporting, but what would their team members say? After all, the team members are the only ones that truly know what they are experiencing. Conscious leaders are clear and consistent in their intentions and their delivery. They also seek feedback from their team members and others to get invaluable outside perspectives. Unconscious leaders do it on their own, listen only to their own counsel, and often are modeling nothing more than beating up and beating down.
Which one are you? Are you sure? Are you confident enough and authentic enough to ask for feedback? Are you willing to listen to that feedback? If you want be a conscious and influential leader, it’s time that you got into the leadership arena, got your face marred, and dared greatly to get the feedback that you need in order to be the best leader possible and to assure that you’re the leader that you claim to be. Are you ready to enter the leadership arena?
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