Most of us struggle in some way in our lives, and we often ask this question to ourselves: “Why do I do this?” The “this” is some behavior that you know is unhealthy or keeping you from what you desire, but you regularly repeat it.
While we often ask this question, we rarely find the answer and the reason is simple – you don’t want to know. Yes, you think and say you want to know, but there’s something inside of you that simply doesn’t want to know.
There are a few of you that don’t need to know in order to change the behavior, but the Nike model of living (just do it) doesn’t work for most of us. Nor does the standby “fake it till you make it.” It’s a rare group who can transform their way of living without knowing the answer to the question above.
This is most of what I do in my coaching – I help people (who are willing) to find the answer to this fundamental life question (Why do I do this?) … if they’re willing to know. Because once you know, then you have the ability to make conscious choices to do and live differently.
The deeply carried answer to the question (Why do I do this?) is the unconscious driver for most of our choices and behaviors that we want to change. Once it’s uncovered, it no longer controls us. It may still have a voice, but that voice gets quieter and more recognizable. Most important, it’s no longer in charge of your life and choices.
Knowing can be uncertain and scary. Knowing requires vulnerability. Knowing can be disruptive and sometimes disturbing. And knowing is a critical step if you truly want to transform your choices, your experience, your relationships and your outcomes. The question is not how to know, but whether you’re willing to know. Well?
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