Yes, Yes, Yes!

Some movie trivia – what movie is famous for a scene that involves this line – “Yes, yes, yes!”? Need another hint? The more famous line from this scene is “I’ll have what she’s having.” By now you should have been able to guess the famous restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally (1989) starring Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan. Before you jump to conclusions, this message is not about faking it. It’s literally about the phrase “yes, yes, yes” and my invitation to start saying this all the time to and for yourself.

If you’re like me, you’re brilliant and well-practiced at saying yes to everyone and everything else. When someone asks you to do something or to help out, you quickly say yes before even considering whether you can do it (in the timeframe required) or even want to do it and what you’ll have to give up doing because of your yes.

One great concept I learned years ago is that every yes to one thing is a no to another thing, and most often the no is to myself, my priorities and my time (insert yourself, your priorities and your time).

Yes (pun intended), being willing to help others is important and noble, AND it’s just as important for you to say yes to you. If your natural inclination is not to help others, then perhaps it’s time to assess whether you’re already overly focused on yourself.

What have you been delaying for yourself? Whether it’s something big (a trip or project) or a little thing (some quiet or relaxation time), say yes to you. What is something you used to do for you, but you keep putting it off because your plate is full from saying yes to everyone else? Maybe it’s time for exercise or a walk, or perhaps it’s a massage or manicure. Whatever it is, say yes. First, you deserve it. Second, the more you say yes to you, the more you’ll have to give others. Yes, that’s the way it works. By saying yes to you, you’re more likely to give back to others (and to have the energy and desire to give back).

Many of us struggle with setting and holding healthy boundaries because boundaries typically require us to say no to someone else or something else. Saying no can feel bad, and we’re worried that someone will perceive it as rejection. In fact, our deepest fear is that we have to say yes because if we say no the other person might judge us or reject us. While setting and holding boundaries with a clear no (or not now) is important, the deeper truth is that saying no (and thereby setting boundaries) is the clearest way to say yes to yourself. Isn’t it about time for you to say yes to you?

Say it with me now – Yes, Yes, Yes! No need to pound the table or close your eyes (like in the movie), just say yes to you—starting today.

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