Will You Be the One?

Are you the one? Are you the one to change things for the better or the different? Are you the one to changes things with your company, with your team, with your organization or with a community effort? Are you the one that’s going to change or heal that relationship that’s broken? Are you the one to be that model for your children and grandchildren so that they can grow up and see and experience the world differently? Are you the one?

Here’s the reality – every one of you is the one. The question is not “are you the one,” but will you be the one. Will you be the one?

Today, I want to share one simple way to be ready to be the one. Because situations will present, opportunities will present, relationship issues will present – all these things are before you now, but will you be ready? And the one thing you do need in order to be ready is clarity – clarity about a short list of things.

The first is who you are. Who are you now? Are you clear? Have you asked that question and, more importantly, answered it honestly? I don’t know about you, but I’m really good at lying … especially to myself about myself. Sometimes I don’t want to know the answer, because the answer means I have to change and I often don’t want to change. But to be the one I have to be honest with myself about who I am today as a starting point. So start with who are you.

The second critical clarity is what will you stand for? I’m talking about your values – crystal clear values about things that you will stand for no matter what the circumstances. By the way, this does not mean being nice. It doesn’t mean being a good person. I don’t know about you, but I don’t know what these mean. Or even something that sounds good like, “I want to do the right thing.” The values help you decide what the right thing is in the moment.

I never used to have values. I just wanted to be the nice guy. It turns out that trying to be the nice guy made me not such a good person because I did things to be nice, or that made me feel good. Today I am a person with five core values that I am aware of and use to make decisions every day. My five are being authentic, being vulnerable, being in integrity, being fully present and modeling unconditional love (which means no judgments).

The great thing about having clear values is that when I have them I get to use them every day to make decisions. When I have a challenging situation, question, the unknown or perhaps a relationship issue, I don’t ask what should I do. I say “what does it mean to live my values,” and when I do that I raise the bar. It’s not so easy to slip by with the easy answer. Instead, the question is will I live my values today or not. This is empowering and powerful. What will you stand for?

The third and final question to ask and answer is who will you be in the future, because who you are today doesn’t define who you’ll be in the future. You can change that because it’s a choice, and that choice will have the greatest impact on whether you will be the one.

I’ve been on a challenging journey the last six years. I asked those questions and I didn’t like the answers or who I was, and I decided that I was going to change. I made clear choices about who I will be in the future. Part of this are my values. Part of it is figuring out my why. Part of it is saying, how do I want people to see me and how do I want to be remembered. And I started at the most basic level – how do I want my children to see me. I didn’t like how they saw me before and I didn’t like this man.

You can change things IF you get clear on who you are, what you will stand for and who you will be in the future. Most important, you must commit to it. Not try. Not do your best because by definition your best doesn’t matter. You don’t know your best until you get there. Will you raise the bar so that your best can come out. This is the clarity that can allow you to be prepared to be the one.

Will you be the one? Will you be the one to make a difference in your team? Will you be the one that stands up in a different way for the community or perhaps for a change in the world? Most important, will you be the one for the people that are waiting on you, because there are people in your life who are waiting for you to show up in a different way. Your friends, your co-workers, your employees, your children. There are people who are waiting for you. So I ask you, will you be the one?