“Who me,” you say? “I’m not lazy.” Well, I’m specifically referring to a particular form of laziness – the laziness inherent when you say some version of “that’s just the way I am.”
I don’t buy it. My eyes are brown, by hair is gray (mostly now) and my height is 6’4″ tall. I was born in Birmingham AL, my father is Ron and my mother is Sandy and I grew up (mostly) in Dayton OH. These are facts about me, but there’s very little that’s “just the way I am.”
I am the way I am for many reasons and in most cases I choose (consciously or unconsciously) to be a certain way. If you’re often angry, there’s a reason and it’s a choice. If you’re argumentative, there’s a reason and it’s a choice. If you’re a poor listener, there’s a reason and it’s a choice. If you aren’t present, there’s a reason and it’s a choice.
Think about it – how do you feel when someone says to you, “that’s just the way I am.” People are having the same reaction when you say the same thing to them.
Stop being lazy and blaming how you are on just the way you are. And by the way, it’s also arrogant to tell people (effectively) to get used to how you are because it’s just the way you are. Yes, there are some rare and unusual circumstances (often due to illness or disability) that impact how we are, but even those are limited.
I have a friend who is dyslexic and he recently realized how he used his dyslexia as an excuse not to read things and to poorly communicate. Yes, he has dyslexia, but his dyslexia is not just the way he is in terms of his communication.
I know how I was ten years ago, and in many important ways I have changed how I am by making choices to be different. Drop the “that’s just the way I am” and embrace the reality that how you are is how you choose to be. And you can choose to change how you are, if you’re willing to stop being lazy.
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